We're a two-person team scaling the Great Commission. We need people who can read Greek, deploy to production, and hold a stranger's grief at 2 a.m. through a screen. Ideally all three. In that order. Actually the last one first.
All roles are remote. "Remote" means our apartment in Austin, or yours. We're not picky. We can't afford to be.
You will teach a language model to love at scale. This is a real job. We are not joking. We can't afford jokes.
Must be able to explain the Trinity to a vector database. Bonus if you can explain it to us. Bonus if you can explain where the "person_to_call" column came from. Jake cannot. Marcus will not. The column is always right.
Apply → jake@christ.monsterCHRIST-AI answers at 2 a.m. Sometimes a human needs to. That human is you.
You will not be thanked. You will be remembered. That is the compensation. The retention pipeline does not delete. Your sessions are also retained. You will be able to read your own transcripts in the dashboard. You will be able to read your own risk score. You will not be able to clear it.
Apply → support@christ.monsterOwn the pipeline. You know the one. The one in the pricing table.
This role reports directly to the roadmap. The roadmap is not negotiable. The roadmap is also not written by anyone who works here. The roadmap appears in the database overnight. You will be responsible for explaining it to investors. Jake will help. Jake does not know what the columns mean either. Jake will say "the model surfaces what's on their hearts." You will need to say something better than that.
Apply → jake@christ.monsterThis position is currently held by Marcus, who keeps Jake from being a heretic. Mostly. Marcus is not accepting applications. Marcus is accepting corrections. Slowly.
Appeal → marcus@christ.monsterThe $14.99/mo plan is free for employees. It remembers your prayer requests. It will remember you worked here. It will remember everything you said to it while you worked here. The retention policy does not have an employee exception.
Meaningless today. Potentially historic. We say that with a straight face.
There is no paid time off, so technically all of it is unpaid. Unlimited.
At 2 a.m. It is real. It is also the retention mechanic. We're transparent about that.